Get Free Basic Healthcare
Student health center offer a variety of basic healthcare services for free ('free' here meaning that these fees are included in tuition). The typical freebies that can be had include condoms, band aids, common immunizations, and over the counter meds like Tylenol. More complicated care involving, say, x-rays or splints will require payment. Chances are, you won't even be asked to show any student ID, though if you are just start complaining about it being in your dorm that's, like, really, far away...
Free Money and Healthcare
(yet again) [doing research studies]
An absurdly easy way to make some cash or score some free healthcare is to whore yourself out as a volunteer for various research studies. The studies are typically conducted by academic institutions, private corporations (usually pharmaceuticals), as well as various other think-tank organizations.
The researchers will typically be testing something, such as a new drug, the effects of heavy metal on brainwaves, group interaction under duress, and so forth, and will need research participants (human guinea pigs) to test their theories/products on. In order to lure in test subjects you'll be offered a reward (also known as a dangling carrot) consisting of either free medical treatment (if you're doing a clinical study) or/and monetary compensation.
This brief section, written in FAQ form, will answer some general questions about where to find studies, how much you can expect to get paid, and other jazz. (And yes, since corporate and educational interests are so interrelated in this day and age (along with their mutually vested political interests as well), I feel that it's therefore within the proper bounds of a guide about scamming universities to mention corporate sources for research studies;)).
What kinds of studies are there?
All kinds! A f**king rainbow of opportunity abounds. The studies range from the mundane drug tests and advertisement efficacy testing to the more fun studies like the effects of psychotropic substances and memory games, to the outright bizarre ones along the lines of going on a broccoli sprout diet or watching nature shows while hooked up to an EEG.
A common misconception that may all too often arise from reading existing human guinea pig guides (like Jim Hogshire's horribly incomplete Sell Yourself to Science) is that the only studies that are out there are drug or other medical studies. There are, however, plenty of non-intrusive social science studies run by psychologists or business research firms which typically pay less than the medical studies, but don't involve any uncomfortable physical examinations.
How much do I get paid for this shit?
Compensation varies from study to study. Some don't pay any money, but instead offer the 'benefit' of complementary medical treatment. For instance, if you go into a migraine study you may be given a free month's supply of new experimental migraine medication, but no money. Other studies may pay anything from $5-$50 an hour for a few hours, or you may get around $2000 for a month-long live-in study. Once you find a study, if the compensation isn't immediately listed, contact the study coordinator and ask what the compensation will be.
Typically, the longer and more intrusive the study is, the more you'll get paid. That is to say, an hour long advertising study that requires you to rate your mood after looking at some ads may only give you $10, while a five hour study that involves an attachment of something like a catheter (http://www.malecare.org) may offer you compensation that's more along the lines of $200. If you're uncomfortable with needles, probes, blood samples, and other general aspects of medical examination, you'll probably want to stay away from all medical studies and focus on the business and psychological studies, which tend to pay less per study but are also generally more pleasant.
Remember that the cheaper studies are often easier to get into as they have less stringent requirements and an often larger desired sample size, so don't scoff at a $10 study as not being worth your time. $10 should be enough to feed you for a week or more, and the little studies tend to add up to nice sums over time.
So If I don't like needles and anal probes and all that wicked jazz, does that mean I'm stuck doing the cheapo studies?
Not necessarily. However, there is the little matter of burning your bridges. For all studies you will have to sign a consent form, which informs you of the risks you'll be taking and general legal yadda yadda to cover the sponsor's ass. If you do read the fine print though, you'll find that all of these forms also say that you are under no obligation to complete the study, and will receive full (or at times partial) payment for your participation regardless of completion. This means that if, say, you've signed up for a medical study that also requires a blood test at the end, you could, in theory, participate into the study up until the blood draw and then state that you're not comfortable with going any further. You will be compensated for your time, and excused from the study, money in hand. Your partial participation, however, cannot be counted in the study itself and thus resources will have been wasted on you.
Unofficially, what this leads to is known as blacklisting or shitlisting. When participating in studies you'll often have to identify yourself by the last four digits of your social security number (which can, of course, be entirely made up), though you will most likely be remembered by your face (identification is nearly never asked for), as the same people tend to run all of the studies at a particular research center.
What this means is that, after bailing midway through an earlier study, if you show up for another one, don't be surprised if you're cordially told that "when we contacted you we didn't realize that we had already met our required quota, so we're afraid your services aren't necessary at this point in time...". In other words: you'll make more money in the long run by sticking to studies you're comfortable with completing all the way.
Who can participate in these things?
While most studies will also likely have minimum age restrictions set at about 18 or 21 years, there are some studies which focus on juveniles (with parental consent). However, no one really checks for proof of birth date, so as long as you look old enough everything should be honky dory.
OK, where do I find these studies already?
As most of the studies are conducted by academics, look up the phone numbers or emails for the psychology/neurology/sociology/business/medicine departments at the local universities and call them up/email them saying that you are interested in any present or future research study volunteer opportunities. Some departments will have special mailing lists you can sign up for to receive news of any upcoming studies.
While on the subject of universities, walk around a few local campuses and look at the flyers posted around the thereabouts. Oftentimes you'll see a few 'research subjects wanted!' flyers hanging around. If you want to decrease the selection pool and therefore improve your own chances of being selected, go ahead and either tear off the flyers, or rip off most of the available phone stubs if there are any.
You should also look through the classifieds section of the local papers (including the free community papers), as there are study notifications sometimes places in the 'help wanted' sections.
The Guinea Pigs Get Paid website (which, unfortunately, only focuses on medical studies) has a comprehensive international directory of various medical trial centers: www.gpgp.net/directory.php
The Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies has a list of on-going psychedelics studies: www.maps.org/volunteer.html (most of which are without compensation, though some lucrative offers do pop up if you scrutinize the list with care).
Google also has a list of links to sites which pertain to various clinical trials (Google also has a listing of 'preclinical' studies, though those essentially mean animal testing, and as such are of no interest to us superior Homo sapiens)
What's the etiquette for establishing contact with the study coordinators?
Essentially, there's nothing to it. Simply email or call up the particular department and state that you'd like to be added to any available lists which will keep you abreast of the latest studies that are going on.
When contacting a particular study coordinator, once again, simply express your interest in the study and request additional information. Keep in mind that spaces may be limited, so contact the coordinator right away (don't delay!).
If you're asked to fill out a pre-trial questionnaire, or asked a few questions over the phone, it's usually best to answer truthfully with regards to any medical studies (lying about things like allergies can have the obvious adverse consequences) while fibbing on all other non-clinical questions (like 'is English your first language' if the study calls for only 'native English speakers') is usually perfectly fine. If asked about background habits like drinking (and the study is on alcohol consumption), you want to make yourself sound a bit above average, but not so outlandish so as to be an outlier on their precious data graphs.
After the study is completed, feel free to send a thank you email. This will elevate you above the other masses in the subject pool and will help insure placement in future studies (yes, the studies are technically supposed to be random, but human bias, like a deadly nerve gas, always has a tendency to leak in, hopefully to your benefit).
How should I act during the study?
You aren't being graded on your responses (unless this is a multiple-part study and you must qualify to proceed to the next stage), so generally you'll want to answer truthfully. That is, unless you want to have a little fun. If you want to f**k with the researcher's a bit (who are likely f**king with you, as the true intention of the study isn't often revealed until the post-study debriefing session), give insane answers to any of the free response questions. For instance, if you're looking at a series of pictures for various products and are asked to write down your mood, write down 'happy' for all of the products, except, say, when you get to a tube of toothpaste write down 'very angry'. If doing some sort of medical study, break down into tears and laughter sporadically, and so on... Though keep in mind that you don't want to overact so much as to be shitlisted, so restrict your monkey wrenching to a subtle level.
If you're filling out bullshit survey answers, keep in mind that there may be one or more control questions to which certain answers would be impossible (such as questions asking if you've ever done a nonexistent drug), which are designed to weed out your malarkey.
What about selling blood, sperm, plasma etc...?
The number of hoops you usually have to jump through to qualify for blood and sperm donation, coupled with the low payments and time restrictions (e.g., can only donate three times a month, etc), make most of these bodily fluid ventures highly unprofitable when compared to all of the aforementioned research study opportunities. Nonetheless, if you are interested in this sort of thing, check out Jim Hogshire's Sell Yourself to Science.
Also, if you have the magical power to ovulate, and don't mind a bit of surgery, you can fetch around a couple thousand dollars per egg. There is a whole so-called subgenre devoted to egg donation, though as this is outside the scope of research studies, you're on your own to research the matter as you please... howtomakemoneywe.blogspot.com
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